I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
i need some magic done to my vagina
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
