I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
