I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
