ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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