The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
You pole danced in your parka.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
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