summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
