We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
