YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
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