it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Randomize