can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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