She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
it's like iHOP with fire
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
