What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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