two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
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