Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
