Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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