he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
