I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
