i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
