Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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