I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
i just made my gag reflex go away.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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