Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize