you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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