Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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