just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
The feeling are messing with the penis
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Randomize
