the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
