I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
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