...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
