Non-Jews are for practice
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
i think i have two assholes
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Randomize
