Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
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