I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Randomize
