the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
and you said cock pushups were impossible
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
