I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
