Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
