Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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