she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
My ass is underappreciated
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize