just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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