tell your sister to shave her snatch
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
