Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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