things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
