Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
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