kristin has been a bad kristin
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
