do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
