She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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