Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize
