his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
