worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
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