Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
where am i from again
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
