they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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