I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
