i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I just want to make out with him forever
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
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