I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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