It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
