I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
