just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
