found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
