About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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