i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
How does it feel to date your dad?
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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