You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Randomize
