he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
