quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
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