dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I hate all girls vehemently.
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Randomize
