he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Randomize
