i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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