Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
