is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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